I bought some Textured Vegetable Protein a few weeks ago for a recipe and ran across the bag in my cupboard when I looking for a quick snack. Not being schooled on how to use this stuff, I decided to give my friend Carrie a call. The conversation went something like this:

ME: What do you think about textured vegetable protein?

CARRIE: You mean TVP? The stuff they pumped into elementary school hamburgers?

ME: Eww.

The very thought of school cafeteria food makes me lose my appetite and think of this song performed by the great Adam Sandler:

Ok, kids back to TVP.

What is it? Well, it sounds like a disease, but it isn’t. TVP is defatted soy flour. Sounds appetizing doesn’t it? It’s actually not too shabby. I’ve been enjoying it in its dehydrated state as it packs a hearty crunch, something I’ve been craving lately.

I’d say it tastes and looks like a cross between rice crispy cereal and granola, which might explain why I’ve been eating it by the handful, as a substitution for croutons on salads, as a topping on protein shakes, and mixed in with a spoonful (or two) of Justin’s Chocolate Almond Butter. Num.

You can find TVP in the bulk aisle in places like Whole Foods or in some grocery stores that carry Bob’s Red Mill. It’s cheap…which might explain why lunch ladies around the globe use this stuff, too.

A word of caution: If you want to enjoy TVP in it’s crunchy state add it to your food at the last possible second. What I’m really saying is don’t let it get in contact with something that isn’t solid (like salad dressing, protein shake, or nut butter) for too long or it will turn into some unrecognizable mush like something a woman wearing a hairnet might serve.

Now I really must go to recess, I’m challenging the lunch lady to a game of four square(s)!