I had a personal trainer who told me that the exercises you hate the most are the ones you should be doing.

I’m pretty sure she fed me that line every single time I belly-ached about having overhead squats in my training program. I hate overhead squats.

I was thinking about my trainers message as I was plowing through an exercise in my latest plan that I hate about as much as those squats. I fondly refer to this exercise as THE ARSE KICKER. It goes something like this:

Squat thrust->push-up->mountain climber->jump. Repeat 50 gazillion times for 5 sets.

OK, the number of sets and reps may or may not be an exaggeration but it certainly doesn’t feel that way during the workout.

I hate that sequence but I’m learning to appreciate it because it makes me uncomfortable – a zone I know I need to play in a little more often if I want to kick my results up a notch.

Think about it. What exercises should you be doing?

Now I really must go thank that trainer of mine because apparently she really does know squat!

One year I gave up coffee every other day during Lent. I’m not sure who suffered more, me or my co-workers…I guess it depends on who you ask.

Moving on…

We are once again embarking on the Lenten season, where the good Catholic kids and the like make some personal sacrifices to prepare for Easter. This is serious spiritual business.

This is not…

10 Things to Give Up For Lent (Fitness & Spice-Style)…

1. Potatoes (Specifically, the “couch” and “chip” varieties)

2. Pink dumbbells

3. Your fat jeans

4. Anything you can order from a drive through window (with the exception of coffee, just to be clear)

5. Charlie Sheen interviews (Because I think we’ve given him more than his 2 and 1/2 minutes of fame, haven’t we?)

6. Spam (both canned and electronic)

7. Lady Gaga meat dresses (on Friday’s anyway)

8. Pajama Jeans

9. Empty calories and empty words like “can’t”…(I can’t stand that word!)

10. YOUR CRAZY OBSESSION WITH YOUR SCALE!

Now I really must go grab some more coffee and get ready to celebrate Phat Tuesday! Care to weigh-in?

My apologies in advance to all the Star Wars fans reading along today but I hate this quote…

“Do or do not… there is no try.”

I mean, I get the message that is trying to be conveyed, but I just wish Yoda would TRY to use proper sentence structure.

Anyway…

For the past 4 weeks I’ve had a sets of clapping push ups in my training plan. And for the first two weeks I didn’t bother doing them. I didn’t even try. I substituted “jump push ups” which is what I call push ups where both hands come off the ground at the same time for far less than a light year.

I was telling one of my friends that I cannot do clapping push ups and he said, “Well have you ever tried?” To which I responded, “No, because I’m afraid of breaking my nose.” I’m sure he rolled his eyes and that was the end of the conversation.

But the next time the clapping push ups appeared in my plan I decided what the heck…if I break my nose I can get another one.

So I tried.

And there was clapping. In fact, there was a round of applause followed by a standing ovation. OK, that was a slight exaggeration. The point is I can do clapping push ups. I just never tried.

And now it’s your turn. Your homework assignment for the weekend is to try something new or something you’ve always thought you couldn’t do. You just might surprise yourself, too.

Now I really must go try those handstand push ups again..or maybe not. Whatever you do this weekend, may the force be with you!

When I grow up I (still) want to be a greeting card writer for a company like Hallmark or even Someecards.com. So if either company happens to be reading…call me.

But, it has come to my attention that more and more companies have entered the punny one-liner business. Only they aren’t so funny.

For instance, the cough drops I bought today come with a promise of having a “pep talk on every drop” printed on each individual wrapper. Only the messages fell short from giving me any pep whatsoever in fact, studies (would probably) show they made me feel worse.

“Let’s hear your battle cry” was one (COUGH!) pep talk. “Conquer today” was another. Really? I’m sick remember. My goal is to just make it through the day and conquer tomorrow. I’d rather read, “That sucks that your sick” or “Suck it up, you’ll feel better” or simply “Get well soon” would work. Maybe they should hire someone from the aforementioned greeting card companies to write their copy. Or me.

And, don’t even get me started about the one liners on tampon (yes, I said tampon) wrappers marketed to athletes. They, too, found the need to write some motivational quotes on their wrappers as if they were a fortune cookie of sorts. “Get out there and show ‘em what you got.” I have cramps. Enough said.

But there are a few companies that “Just Do It” right when it comes to nailing their motivational messages like:

• Nike of course.
• Words To Sweat By who is doing a good job of reminding me to “Lighten Up” and “Take it all In Stride” with their whimsical mantras on my gym towels.
• Yogi Teas gets high marks in my book by putting quotes on their tea labels like “By honoring your words, you are honored in this world” (I know at least two companies who should start drinking Yogi, eh Boo Boo?)
• Oh, and one more that is totally unrelated to Fitness or Spice. There’s a billboard in town for a convenience store that reads “You’re wife is hot. Buy her a slushy.” Now that is punny.

Now I really must go give myself another pep talk because this sore throat is really starting to cramp my style!

Dr. Seuss is 107 years old today. In celebration of this remarkable day I thought I’d share an interview I had with him right away…

Joanna: Do you think I’m in pretty good shape?
Dr. Seuss: You’re in pretty good shape for the shape you are in.

Joanna: Thanks, doc! Do you think I’ll have 6 pack abs someday?
Dr. Seuss: Yes! You will indeed! (98 and 3/4 percent guaranteed)

Joanna: What do you think about fad diets like that crazy HCG diet?
Dr. Seuss: They say I’m old-fashioned, and live in the past, but sometimes I think progress progresses too fast!

Joanna: What types of food do you suggest to people that need to eat more protein?
Dr. Seuss: One fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish.

Joanna: I knew you were going to say that. Do you have any tips for people that say they can’t do things like push ups or chin ups?
Dr. Seuss: Try them, try them, and you may! Try them and you may, I say.

Joanna: Do you have any advice for writers like me?
Dr. Seuss: The writer who breeds more words than he needs, is making a chore for the reader who reads.

Joanna: Amen to that! Do you have any advice for healthy-living bloggers?
Dr. Seuss: Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.

Joanna: Speaking of blogs, I know you read Fitness & Spice every single day. Do you have a favorite post?
Dr. Seuss: Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple. This one’s a cinch, my favorite post is the one about the Grinch!

Joanna: I’m thinking about wrapping up this interview and going to the gym or maybe to Whole Foods…what do you think?
Dr. Seuss: You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You’re on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who’ll decide where to go…

Now I really must go grab some green Egg Beaters and whey and wish the good Dr. Seuss a very happy birthday!

You know those fancy salt scrubs you can buy at fabulous places like the Body Shop or Bath & Body Works that leave your thirsty skin feeling incredibly soft?

So do I.

I bought a tub of the stuff right after Christmas and I used the last of it this week. So instead of running right out and buying some more I decided to make my own using two ingredients I already had in my bathroom closet.

Can you guess what two ingredients I used to make my salt scrub?

Nope.

Not that either.

Wrong.

Give up?

I used epsom salt and baby oil. Actually, I used Vaseline Cocoa Butter Vitalizing Gel Body Oil to be exact—which smells amazing, by the way.

This scrub makes a great shower scrub to exfoliate your dry skin. And, it’s also great as bath salts as soaking in an epsom salt bath does wonders for achy muscles.

Now I really must go to the gym…see you later, alligator!

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Take two of these and workout in the morning.

Now I really must go solve world peace!

My parents raised me to have respect for the Commander in Chief of the United States. And so I do.

However, I would never want to be President of the United States. I can barely take care of myself and my dog some days so taking on the leadership of the free world would be a stretch.

But, a girl can dream, right? So, just for fun…

If I Was President of the United States…

• Before the Obama’s left the White House I’d say, “Hey Michelle, before you go, LET’S MOVE! a treadmill desk into the oval office.”
• I’d continue Mrs. Obama’s Let’s Move! campaign to address childhood obesity, but call it “Let’s Move a Little Faster!”
• My wardrobe would come from my favorite fitness apparel designers and the gym would get an Extreme Makeover, White House Edition.
• U.S. citizens would have to finish their vegetables before getting up from the table.
• You know how some presidents were known for their favorite snacks in the White House like bowls of jelly beans? I would be known for having baskets of Protein Bakery cookies and brownies.
• I’d get rid of iceberg lettuce because I can.
• Protein shakes would be served at all White House functions.
• Americans would be required to exercise 4 or 5 times a week and track it on a new social media site called YouMove, Fitter, or BodyBook. Mark Zuckerberg? Call me…Let’s Talk!
• I’d make it a law that anyone with a gym membership and sweat glands must also carry a towel.

And last but not least…

• My State of the Union addresses would be 140 characters or less.

Now I really must go work on my right to bare arms and changing my website to fitnessandspice.gov! Happy President’s Day!

If my walls could talk they’d probably say, “What in the world are you doing now?”

And I would probably respond, “Working out and by the way stop looking at me like that.”

And the walls would say, “Well, you’re cracking me up.”

And I would say, “And that’s why God made dry wall.”

And then I would put my headset on so those walls didn’t ruin the rest of my workout.

Anyway…

I’ve been doing a new move lately that Chad Waterbury simply calls “crawling” but I call it the “Spiderman” because I prefer a more grown up term.

How do you do the Spiderman?

If you asked me, I’d say, “You basically climb the floor like Spiderman climbs the side of a building.”

And if you asked Chad, he’d say, “Start in a push-up position, and then pull your right leg up as you simultaneously reach and walk your left arm forward. Next, pull your left leg up as you reach and walk your right arm forward. Keep your hips as low as possible while crawling.”

In Chad’s Body of Fire (advanced program) he sometimes ends the workout with sprint/crawling intervals. Like 12 minutes of 30 seconds sprinting followed by 30 seconds of crawling, for one example.

Try it sometime. It just might make you a super man or woman. And if not, at least it will give your walls something new to talk about.

Now I really must go fix my cape in case my walls decide to start snapping pictures.

Deep thoughts by Joanna Sutter:

“Sweethearts are like squats…they can be a pain in the butt, but they’re both worth the effort.”

Now I really must go squeeze in a workout and wish you a Valentine’s day full of hugs and fitness!