My dream job is to be a spa critic.

If that position isn’t available then I’d gladly become a gym critic.

Truth be told, I am pretty opinionated especially when it comes to how a gym should be organized.

If I owned a gym…

• Pink dumbbells would be outlawed
• There would be no recumbent bikes with arm rests that look more comfortable than my dad’s Lazy Boy chair
• Everyone would pay the same monthly dues
• There would be nothing but skinny mirrors throughout the club
• All of the trainers would be in better shape than I am
• Any trainer that takes up my a bench while they sit and count their clients reps – FIRED!
• Guys with barb wire bicep tattoos who wear du-rags, carry water in a gallon milk jug, and wear a gallon of Axe cologne need not apply for membership
• There would be a one strike policy on the following items:
  • If members do not put their weights away, they’re out!
  • If members fail to wipe down their sweaty gym equipment, they’re out!
    
  • If members are caught on their cell phones and it’s not an emergency, they’re out!
  • If members are caught wearing a Krispy Kreme t-shirt, they’re out!
  • If members are spotted wearing more makeup than a Kiss concert, they’re out!

Can you tell this is a subject that gets me pretty worked up? Maybe a massage will help.

Now I really must go to the gym and then post my resume on monster-dot-calm.

Congratulations to She-Fit for winning the Eat Cleaner drawing!

Please send an email to fitnessandspice@gmail.com with your mailing address and we’ll ship your prizes right to you!

If I was a mom I would not be the kind of mom that would get upset if given a kitchen appliance for Mother’s Day. In fact, I am a bit obsessed with kitchen gadgets. I love to buy them up, give them as gifts, and receive them as gifts (hint, hint).

But since I’m not a mom I decided to be my own Sugar Daddy and treat myself to my ultimate Mother’s Day gift anyway: A Vitamix.

I’ve been reading about these blenders for years and finally decided to take the plunge. If you’re not familiar with the Vitamix, let’s just say they are the Cadillac of blenders. And, yes, that includes both the Cadillac quality and the price tag. But just think of all of the money I’ll save making my own peanut butter, frappaccinos, lemonade, soup, salad dressing, ice cream, sorbet, breads, protein shakes, salsas, and did I mention PEANUT BUTTER?!

Not only that, I’m able to control what goes into everything I make so I feel healthier just by having this sucker in the house. All of that and everything seems easier to make in a Vitamix because it is a power house.

I can justify anything, can’t I?

My one regret about the Vitamix? That I didn’t buy it sooner.

Do you have a favorite kitchen gadget? Tell us about it!

Now I really must go figure out what I’m going to buy myself for Father’s Day!

I am not a germ freak. I mean, I don’t keep a container of hand sanitizer inside every car door like some people I know (Carrie).

But…

I will never look at a shopping cart the same way thanks to my mother.

For years I have been blissfully grocery shopping the exact same way. I grab a cart, toss my purse in the front, and head to the produce department. Until my mom pointed out that the exact spot where I pile my produce is where mom’s plop their diaper-wearing toddlers to sit during their shopping sprees.

SICK.

And then…

I was reading on the Eat Cleaner Web site that on average, over 20 sets of hands touch your produce before it gets to you. Now, I am sure that all 20 of those sets of hands were crystal clean (<—sarcasm, in case you missed it) but what about the 10 grocery shoppers ahead of you that picked up that apple or bundle of asparagus and put it back…what about their hands? Uck!

If I think about it too much I would never leave the house.

If you are wondering where your food has been, or how many people have touched your melons (orange you glad I didn’t say banana?) then you might want to wash them off with a product like Eat Cleaner.

Eat Cleaner is like a hand sanitizer for your food. The natural spray and wipes rids your foods of pesticides, germs, wax, and coodies.

Want to win some Eat Cleaner Fruit + Veggie Wash and Seafood + Poultry Wash? Then, visit the Eat Better Web site and come back and tell us in the comment section something you learned or a product you’d like to try.

Oh, and Eat Cleaner is a social bunch, so you get all sorts of bonus points if you follow them on Twitter, Facebook, and sign up for their newsletter. This contest will close on Thursday and the winner will be announced on Friday, May 21st.

Now I really must go wash my groceries and then take a nap…I’m feeling beet.

You know what I love about blogging? The connections you make along the way, the friendships, the laughter, the tears, the celebrations…

Ok, enough about all that sappy stuff. I don’t want you to lose your appetite.

What I also love about blogging is stumbling upon delicious sites where you can’t decide what to eat, er, read first, like Elana’s Pantry, for example. Elana is beauty and so are her no-bake…

Gluten Free Almond Power Bars

• 2 cups almonds (raw)
• ½ cup flax meal
• ½ cup shredded coconut (unsweetened)
• ½ cup unsalted creamy roasted almond butter
• ½ teaspoon celtic sea salt
• ½ cup coconut oil
• 4 drops stevia
• 1 tablespoon agave nectar
• 1 tablespoon vanilla extract
• 1 cup dark chocolate 73% (optional)

Place almonds, flax meal, shredded coconut, almond butter and salt in a food processor. Pulse briefly, about 10 seconds. In a small sauce pan, melt coconut oil over very low heat. Remove coconut oil from stove, stir stevia, agave and vanilla into oil.

Add coconut oil mixture to food processor and pulse until ingredients form a coarse paste. Press mixture into an 8 x 8 glass baking dish. Chill in refrigerator for 1 hour, until mixture hardens.

In a small saucepan, melt chocolate over very low heat, stirring continuously. Spread melted chocolate over bars; return to refrigerator for 30 minutes, until chocolate hardens. Remove from refrigerator, cut into bars and serve. Makes 20 bars.

I can be wicked hard on myself. So this week I’m going to try a new approach.

My sister sent me this video so I’m going to channel this little girls positive energy…

And, I’m going to borrow my friend Heather’s affirmation in the gym. When the going gets tough, I’m going to chant:

“I am strong, I am lean, I’m a muscle-building-fat-burning machine!”

What do you say to yourself to get your week off on the right foot?

Now I really must go start the day like my blood type and Be Positive!

I have Spring Fever. No, really. I’m sick.

How do I know when I’m sick:

• My first drink of the day is hot tea and not coffee.
• I actually skip the gym.
• I sleep in until 6:00 a.m.
• I forget to add protein powder to my protein shake and wonder why it just doesn’t taste right (huh, Carrie?)
• I complain. A lot.
• I call my mom.

You know that feeling when your body aches and you feel like there are sharp daggers in your throat? That’s me. Right here. Right now.

You know what’s making me feel better? EBOOST popsicles. EBOOST is an effervescent powder packed full of vitamins (like C!), minerals, and green tea extract. I normally drink this stuff even on days I’m feeling well as it gives me a gentle boost of energy, it keeps me hydrated, and it’s like taking a vitamin without having to swallow a pill.

You’re probably wondering how I made these vitamin popsicles. This is tricky…you might want to take notes. I mixed orange EBOOST with water, poured it into popsicle molds, and popped them in the freezer.

I tell you what, these suckers are refreshing and are helping my throat feel so much better. Not only that, I found a great less than 5 calorie treat to spring me into Summer!

Now I really must go boost myself up and get ready for a Spring Fever-free day!

Each year I set some pretty impressive goals for myself. One year I said I was going to learn how to speak Italian. Just last year I said I was going to get in the best shape of my life. And this year I said I was going to write a book.

Have I accomplished any of these things? Nope.

But, there’s hope for me yet.

I received a copy of Tom Terwilliger’s book, 7 Rules of Achievement last week and I have to say that in the 5 chapters I’ve read so far it has me fired up. My wheels are spinning and let’s just say two of my unfinished goals are now in motion!

Tom’s book is the blueprint for helping you put your vision into action. I’ve already learned how to (key word–>) properly identify and set goals for some of my most ambitious dreams.

Why is Tom Terwilliger qualified to write a book about achievement? For starters, Tom is the poster boy for fitness and healthy living, he is an author, professional speaker, and former Mr. America (swoon!) and longtime Fox Sports Net fitness TV show host.

Not to mention, Tom is one of the good guys. His contributions have been recognized by the American Heart Association, New York Games for the Physically Challenged, Colorado Special Olympics, Fetal Hope Foundation, Juvenile Diabetes association and The Cystic Fibrosis Foundation.

In fact, Tom’s book, 7 Rules of Achievement launches today and proceeds from today’s sales will benefit Habitat for Humanity. How great is that!?

If you’re interested in learning more about this book, check it out on Amazon, read the intro, and see if it’s a book that might help you light a fire under your arsenal of dreams, too.

Now I really must go to the gym and then finish reading my terms of achievement, arrivederci!

Do you have a vision board? You know, a visual representation of what you want to be or accomplish in the future? A vision board might have motivational quotes, cut outs from magazines, goals, photos–that kind of stuff.

I do not have a vision board because:

A. I am lazy.

B. I’m just not that into crafts.

C. I have the psychic network on speed dial.

D. I have a crystal ball instead.

E. Some of the above.

If you guessed “E” you are correct.

When it comes to fitness or weight loss vision board-kind-of-goals I normally just look at hot cover models with 6 pack abs and say, “I want ‘dem abs!” Only I probably use better grammar. Or, I say, “I want to lose 10 pounds.” Truth be told I have no clue what my body looks like with 10 less pounds or even 20 less pounds…do you?

I found this fun little product that gives your vision board lasik eye surgery. It’s a product that gives you an actual visual of what your body might look like carrying around fewer LB’s, it’s called Empower Me Photo. You upload a photo and they send you back a computer enhanced picture with a trimmer you.

You can get the picture of the new you on a magnet, on a laminated wallet card, or on a sticky back photo. So now you can have a vision of the body you are working for on the fridge, in your purse or man-bag, in your workout journal, or stuck to a mirror.

Empower Me Photo is a clever way to keep you motivated on your figure goals. Plus, it saves you money on glue sticks and palm readers.

Now I really must hit the gym and go tell my medium I want a small.

I think it’s impossible to write about chia seeds without mentioning Chia Pets, but I’m not going to.

I mean really, I’m sure chia would want to be known for something other than sprouting hair out of a ceramic head from Walgreens.

I would think the chia would want to be known for…

• Being an amazing source of omega 3 fatty acids.
• Having higher amounts of protein than other nutritional grains. It is a complete protein, meaning that it has the appropriate balance of all essential amino acids.
• Being high in fiber, a 15 gram serving of chia seeds will provide 4 to 5 grams of fiber.
• Containing boron which is essential for bone health.
• Being calcium rich…about 2 ounces of chia seeds contains 600 mg of Calcium, as compared to 120 mg for a cup of milk.
• Having 2 times more potassium than banana and 3 times more antioxidants than blueberries.
• Causing a slow release of carbohydrates and an equally slow conversion of carbohydrates into glucose (blood sugar) for energy.

There are like a gazillion more benefits of chia, but these are my favorites. Just visit my source for all of these fun facts and more at: Chia For Health.

Likewise, there are a gazillion things you can do with these mildly-nutty tasting chia seeds from eating them right out of the bag, sprinkling them on salads, stirring them into shakes, to baking with them.

And, because chia can hold more water than a camel, they transform into a thick gel when mixed with liquid, perfect for making puddings and jellies. Which is exactly what I did.

• To make a single serving of chia pudding, I stirred 2 tablespoons of chia seeds with 4-5 tablespoons of water and let it thicken for about 20 minutes. In one batch I added a few tablespoons of protein powder and a packet of stevia. In another batch I mixed in a few tablespoons of pumpkin puree, cinnamon, and a packet of stevia.
• To make chia jelly, I mixed 2 tablespoons of chia seeds with 4-5 tablespoons of water, a handful of fresh berries, and a packet of stevia in a blender and then refrigerated. It set up in about 5 minutes.

Let’s address your Frequently Asked Questions:

• Joanna, how long have you been eating chia seeds? Since Friday. They are brand new to me and I’m a little obsessed.
• Do you think you could replace almond milk or coconut milk in place of water in the pudding recipe? I know so.
• Those recipes sound great! Do they taste like Jello pudding and Smuckers jelly? Um, no. But they’ll do in a jam.
• Do you think chia jelly would be good on that Peanut Butter Bread? Brilliant idea!
• Did you know there is an Obama Chia Pet? Yes, but I told you we weren’t going to mention chia pets in this article, didn’t I?
• Is this the longest post of all time? Yes, in fact…

Now I really must go se-se-se see ya!